I met the King of the Gypsies the other night

No word of a lie, I did. His name is Hog, I think they name their royal dignitaries after their favourite livestock but apart from that he's an awesome guy. You can tell he has had a blessed gypsy life, he probably grew up living with a family of elves in a tree as part of the gypsy initiation, and when he returned triumphant after trapping the goblin that had been licking their hens out by the wig wam in Sainsbury’s car park, he was welcomed as a hero, showered with pixie dust freshly squeezed that morning no doubt and given a leprechaun as his bride.

So how did I get to meet such a mysterious character? That’s a good question. He is a friend of a friend, and I'm sure their meeting was pre empted by the gypsy elders when they encourage their King to seek the highest possible knowledge, that of chemical engineering at Herriot Watt University. That’s right; the King of the Gypsies is a student, how crazy is that? But I am glad he has not lost his gypsy ways, despite his best efforts to become civilised I could clearly see he was attracted to shiny things and marvelled at their twinkly magic.

Keep an eye out for him, if you see him bow down and say "King of the Gyspies, do not curse me with your wicked gypsy magic, for I do not want to grow eyebrows on my cheeks or smell like a cattle farmer. I am just civilised and unaccustomed to your ways" he will understand and if you are lucky he may even give you a toad that he has decorated with pasta and PVA glue.