What a great title huh? It’s a lyric in one of my favourite Frank Zappa songs and it's so true. This post is a continuation of my post about the Christian Paradigm. When do you figure that the sacrifices you make to others as an example of your faith in GOD (the kneeling part) becomes just a routine exercise in them taking full advantage of you (the bending over part).
Can the message be so easily lost on others?
I feel like I'm fighting a loosing battle, sacrificing myself, my pleasure and even my happiness to guarantee the happiness of others. Its soul destroying watching my friends knowingly take advantage of me because it’s in their interest to do so without regard for me or my feelings. For a while it didn't bother me, I knew that what I was doing was right in the eyes of GOD. Leading by example, leading by being subservient to others trying to demonstrate the good in me that GOD has brought out, to show people that His power can work in all of us. Hey, it worked for me!
I was standing in EGO at a club night called VIBE; I had been abandoned for the third time as all the girls went outside to smoke. I was holding at least four pint glasses and I was being knocked into every 5 seconds. I thought to myself, I really don't want to be here, I don't like the music, the atmosphere, the smell or the fact that I am constantly being ignored. Maybe the messaging I am trying to convey is being lost and I am just a drinks holder for when they need a cigarette.
I think I was more hurt that my efforts had been lost to them instead of my own sorrow of being abandoned in a loud club that I loathe.
This Christian thing is tough, and at times, I'll be honest I am lost and confused. I know GOD is working his magic over me and I trust him. I suppose that is all I can do.
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